Rules
by Amber SanGiovanni
Summary: Collection of one shots about how Gibbs Rules came to be. Some are straight foward, others require some inference. Rated T for some closed bedroom doors, swearing etc.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay! So I had an epiphany late tonight about a story to do, where did all Gibbs's Rules come from? What are the stories behind them? This is a one-shot collection of anecdotes about how all 50-some rules came to be. Some will be direct, others will need some background knowledge and inference. Here's Number one!**

Gibbs's Rule # 1: Never screw _over _your partner

"Damn fucking cottage," I hissed under my breath, "stupid operation... Oh do this, kill her, hide here, assume this role," I mocked in the most annoying tone possible, "MY ASS!" I shouted as I pushed in the bedroom we were forced to share as a 'married couple'...

"Is huge." He said simply from the bed. He was lying on the bed, stark naked except for a conveniently placed decorative pillow, or perhaps it was inconvenient... I stood half in the closet, the angel and devil on my shoulder arguing over receding into it, or stripping. Eventually, the stripping side one, and to this day I'm not sure which was the angel and which was the devil.

"Its my turn," he trilled, "MY DICK!" he yelled, struggling to keep a straight face.

With considerably more control, I smoothly replied, "Well I don't rightly know, now do I? Hmmmm?" I strode across the tiny room, pulling my shirt off as I went, and removed the pillow as my lips brushed his.

"What do you think of this 'damn _fucking _cottage' now?" He practically purred.

"What happened to 'never _screw_ your partner?" I countered.

He pondered for a moment, then swore in Russian under his breath, "I think that can be edited..." He trailed off, "How 'bout never screw _over_ your partner?"

"But what if you're the one on top, does that count as over?"

"I cant win with you woman, why don't we just leave it as is and follow it!?" He threatened.

"Oh nononono," I quickly replied, "Screw _over_ is perfect!"

**I hope you enjoyed! Read and review please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So this is rule number 2! I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter, and although it was hard to write as I have much less background info from Gibbs's probie days, I figured his team currently must reflect the team he grew up on, per se. Enjoy!**

Gibbs Rules #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.

We climbed out of the van into the bright sunlight that I knew held a murder scene, but with all the beauty the sleek stream and lush forest held, it was hard to believe. I gulped, wondering if I'd be able to hold my stomach, knowing I wouldn't considering the first-crime-scene-horror-stories I got daily from agents who had just topped out of training.

"Lets go probie," Mike growled at me from ten yards ahead.

"Yes Mi...Fran...sir...?"

"BOSS!" the rest of the team yelled at me in stereo, boss just rolled his eyes and kept walking. When I caught up, he gave me a good slap upside the head. Marine instincts kicking in, I almost went at him, until the team stopped me in my tracks, again in unison, they all shouted from opposite ends of the scene, "A SLAP IN THE FACE IS AN INSULT, ONE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD IS A WAKE UP CALL!"

Taken aback by how in-sync the team was, I practically stumbled onto the body, Lillian, the mysterious assassin grabbed my arm, saving me from the corpse, and saving the corpse, and her shoes for that matter, from my inevitable upchuck.

"No worry," she hissed with a hint of a Russian accent, "happens to everyone." I was too queezy to open my mouth, so I just nodded quickly and stumbled away. In the process of this stumbling, I ran into Joe, who was sketching, and toppled over the small foot bridge he was standing on, and into the water.

"Watch it Mr. Bailey! We don't got any disgraced angels to save ya here!"

"Thanks GioVannazo." I snipped before getting up out of the mud to go bag and tag. I was about to grab the vic's wallet, when our surprisingly nimble for his age ME came out of the bushes and smacked my hand. "Mike!" he hollered, "give the kid golden rule 2."

At that moment, for the third time that day, every tech, worker, cop, agent, you name it shouted in unison, "ALWAYS WEAR GLOVES AT A CRIME SCENE!" dazed, and scared boss was pissed, I went back to the car and found a pair, and I swore I saw a few smiles when they made that memorable snappy sound against my skin for the first time.

**I hope that was well written, Read and Review please!**


End file.
